So, i'm afraid to think back

So, something I read on someone elses blog makes me think back, even though it's usually trouble to do so. It's been almost a year from the time I got in trouble, and I'm just starting to reconnect with the people. It's kind of hard. Last July I lost everything I had. I lost any place to live, lost all my friends, lost my girlfriend "L", lost an unborn child (not that I had much say in that), lost a lot of my stuff, lost a lot of my life. Looking back now, i'm glad it happened. I would have ended up being a lot worse off if my life hadn't taken a turn for the worse. I had to turn my back on the people I had spent most of my life with, to save them, and now most of them think that I just turned my back on them.

I've been talking to another ex that I referred to in my (goodnight Gracie) previous post, "M," and she is worried about me like usual. Says I smoke to much, and drink to much. I really like the fact that she cares so much. It means a lot to me. But at least i'm clean and don't get into trouble anymore. My probation says I can't. It's not so much that I like to listen to the law, but it's nice being out of trouble.

On top of that I'm sure that I saw another one of my Ex's last night. "S" It was on a girls gone wild commercial. Go figure. At least she's making something of herself. She wasn't that intellegent, but I'm glad that she's using the best of her abilities to climb the social ladder. This is the second time I've seen her on TV and at least this time I'm not getting calls like crazy about it. Hey, I guess it's her perogative.

I've got to stop thinking about the past, I'll repair the damage done to it in time. Those broken links that I can't repair, probably aren't worth repairing anyway. It's time for me to look forward to preparing for my fights in the future.