So I'm handy. Well sort of.

I put together one of those "vertical standing, tension rod, basket holders for the shower, where it has a spring in it to keep it standing in the corner. It comes pre packaged, and partially assembled, with nothing more difficult than three screws and an allen wrench to tighten them. Of course such a simple task could not be completed without personal injury and/or power tools. It's amazing how much a dremmel power tool is able to do. Remember, when in doubt, use a power tool. I find this is usually a bad suggestion, but it's beats being bored and following some other bad suggestion. I have also found that when it comes to the analitical process of creating something, men and women tend to have diffrent approaches, and just because the womans makes more sense and typically will lead to successful, safe, and swift completion of the task at hand, does not make it right.

Things you don't want to hear when assembling anything.

1. What's this? (This is usually the piece to make the assembly work, and without question is ALWAYS the piece that requires the complete dissassembly of the entire piece to insert.)

2. The instructions don't say to do this. (I know that the instructions don't say to do that, and to pre emptively anwser your second comment, I don't care. If instruction were meant to be read.... actually i can't think of an instance when they should be.

3. This doesn't look like the picture on the box. (I know that this doesn't look like the box, and to pre emptively anwser your second comment, I don't care. Do you want this done, or done right, cause only one of these is going to happen, and it's not a multiple choice.

4. Wow, that's a lot of blood. (I'm only a little light headed, now stop complaining about the carpet and hand me a beer, no... wait, the power drill, wait... beer then power saw.)

5. You know what? I haven't seen that "one of a kinds, special, limited edition, rare, imported, expensive, hand crafted by monks, amazing, NECCESARY," tool since the movers packed it up in the same box as the liquor and change jars, and marked it with a big "X". (My garbage straight out of my trash can arrived all right, assholes.)

6. You know what, your right, I guess I did forget to unplug it like you asked. (usally the recipient of this comment doesn't hear it, the dizzyness, lightheadedness, ringing in the ears, and smell of burnt skin and hair has commanded complete control of thier attention at the moment.)

7. There's something crawling on you. (Only said when the worker is in a tight enclosed space, with lots of low hanging object on which to severly wound the head. I.E. under a car, under a sink, in a crawl space.)

8. This would look much better over there. (Only said when object is over 350 lbs, or not on wheels.)

9. That looked like it hurt. (Yes, yes it did.)

10. There sure are a lot of parts left over, are these supposed to be in there somewhere? What are these? (extra, or at least they are now, store 'em in the junk drawer, I'm going for another beer)

11. What was that noise? (it's the support structure of said expensive and only expensive item collapsing and destroying said item. I have learned that a TV tray can support a 800 pound rock, but place an priceless piece of cristal on top of an eight inch thick oaken table with several hundred legs, and it will proceed to collapse under the weight like a banana under a semi truck.)

So we got the 15 dollar shower thingy together, so it was a good buy, but average in my insurance deductable and it's price to usefulness ratio really swings towards the negative.

Uhhh, i gotta go, I just heard a loud crash from the bathroom.

Mister Marcus