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Glucose, NV. Associated press.General Mills spokesperson Lucky (L.C.) the Leprechaun, has filed a class action lawsuit against cartoon kids, including such charges as theft, stalking, kidnapping, and harassment as the primary focus. The class action lawsuit includes such other famous cereal characters as the "Trix" rabbit, Sonny the Cuckoo Bird, and Toucan Sam. Local cereal union #302 is expected to announce their inclusion later today. The #302 is known for holding such high power members as Count Chocula, Booberry, Frankenberry and Yummy Mummy.
"It's high time were treated with some respect, respect that every individual should be allowed in conjunction with his inalienable rights," said Toucan Sam. Toucan is a well spoken individual, who has taken up primary media attention for the cereal spokes members.
Lucky, the General Mills spokesman who was born in 1964, added, "With all the obvious evidence against these children, you think someone would have done something by now. I know you have all seen it, and no one thought to do anything? This is unacceptable, I bet all of America, and the other parts of the world where our violence has been witnessed, everyone just sits around and laughs, thinking it's no big difference becuase they aren't people anyway. Where are here to tell you that were tired of it. It's time for us to regain our dignity."
In an emotional display the Trix rabbit spoke out. "I've been around since 1959, and in all that time, I have been beaten, harassed, and suffered numerous indignities as the hands of cartoon children not even a quarter of my age." Mr. Rabbit broke into heavy sobs as he forced out, "I just want a bite, A BITE, is that to much to ask?" He then returned to the comfort of his den to be with his cereal friends and cereal family.
"Granted we have always tried to share our cereal with children through out the years, such as how I share my frosted flakes with kids, and how Buzz Bee shares so kindly with children, but do they share back, no," said Tony the Tiger. "How they treat us cereal spokesmen is atrocious, and they have to resort to humiliation, or even worse theft. That's why today, Chip the Cookie Hound, and Cookie Crisp Crook, are doing a nickel a piece up at Joliet. This must stop."
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